Why I recommend working on sleep early
When you think of baby sleep, what comes to mind? Is it smiling down at a sleeping baby who is slumbering away peacefully and getting the rest they need? Or does it bring up scenes of pacing the hall with a crying baby, or going for endless drives just to get them to settle? Maybe they go down OK, but then they wake, EVERY.SINGLE.HOUR. throughout the night. If your experience of baby sleep isn’t the pleasant kind, I want to tell you why I recommend working on sleep early.
If you already have a child sleeping well, wahoo! You may not need this just yet. But it won’t hurt for you to read it too.
TAKE NOTE IF YOU’RE ALREADY SLEEP DEPRIVED
When you first become a parent the change to your sleep pattern is harsh. Newborns are up frequently during the night and that can take a toll on anyone! But as your baby grows, their sleep at night should consolidate into longer and longer stretches. All going well, you see this in newborn sleep.
As a newborn grows, it’s the first stretch of night sleep that starts getting longer first. This can occur any time past the 6- 8 – week mark. And that first block of night sleep should continue lengthening (by around an hour a week) until your child can go through the night without food for 10-12 hours (disclaimer: this depends on health, weight and development too – all children are different).
But, here’s the kicker, sleep doesn’t always go as it should.
If you are already struggling with your child’s sleep, especially past the newborn stage which typically ends at the 3-month mark. Consider reaching out early to remedy it. Chances are things really could be going better! Please, don’t buy into the myth that babies are meant to wake up a lot overnight; especially if you have already passed the 3–4-month mark. Yes, there are always exceptions to the rule, but expecting a 6-month-old to wake 3-99 times each night is wrong! That’s a cruel myth that’s been doing the rounds for far too long.
BUT BABIES ARE SUPPOSED TO WAKE UP AT NIGHT
Every time I see a social media post saying babies are supposed to wake at night I cringe. Not so much at the original post that says its OK to keep a night feed (it is OK if you want to) – but when you start reading comments that “normalise” a baby waking every single hour on the dot, it’s heart breaking. Not just for the tired Mum – but the poor baby!
I’m bucking the trend here and I want to tell you that babies are actually designed to sleep well (past a certain weight and the newborn stage), because babies need LOTS of sleep for development! And if they keep waking too frequently and need your help to return to sleep, they are not getting the sleep they need.
Again, it’s not always that straight forward, because a lot of things come into play.
WAKING AS DESIGNED (WE ALL WAKE AT NIGHT) IS DIFFERENT TO WAKING AND NEEDING LOTS OF HELP TO RETURN TO SLEEP
Babies WILL wake between sleep cycles, we all do. But it becomes an issue if they then can’t resettle very quickly and easily (you will see this commonly referred to as the 4-month sleep regression). BUT the thing with regressions is, they are temporary! If your baby slept BETTER as a newborn or at 3 months old, than they do now, and they haven’t gotten past it a couple of weeks in, then chances are they CAN actually sleep better, (they’ve already proved it to you) but they need a little help and encouragement from you to do it.
SELF SETTLING IS NATURAL BETWEEN 3 AND 6 MONTHS
I love working with babies as young as 3 months because they are primed for learning. Self-settling is natural at this age and is typically seen as sucking on hands.
It is also during this 3-6 month mark that babies are learning cause and effect at a tremendous rate.
During this time your little one will learn the pattern they associate with sleep. Whatever they are consistently exposed to is what they will learn. It’s a prime time to establish healthy sleep habits. But, because you didn’t get the manual for your child (and because there is a world of misinformation on the web) you may not know where to start. I get that. And that’s why I’m here to help.
Be wary of advice on the internet. You can find almost anything to justify whatever you want to, but if you’re looking for simple SLEEP advice, it will come at you in very contradictory ways. You’ll already know this if you’ve started browsing.
UNLESS YOU CHANGE THINGS, THINGS WON’T NECESSARILY CHANGE
Babies who don’t sleep well often turn into toddlers who don’t sleep well. Yes, the cycle continues. Not to mention, living with a toddler and being a toddler is very very difficult if the toddler isn’t well rested.
But don’t panic, some children do learn to sleep all by themselves (it’s true that most children will be out of your bed before they become teenagers). Learning to sleep through the night as we know it normally happens around 3 years of age if parents don’t do anything differently. I don’t know about you, but if you’re already struggling with sleep deprivation, that’s a long time to wait for better sleep (especially through the critical developmental years).
Some of those children don’t figure it out on their own though. I regularly work with school-aged children who don’t sleep well. And if left to their own devices those children turn into adults who don’t sleep well.
And it’s those Mums who know what it’s like to have a lifetime of poor sleep who will get in touch with me early. I’ve really noticed that in my business. Those mums who had trouble sleeping as a child want to make sure their own children don’t have to go through the same cycle. They know that not being able to sleep well (even as a child) is not as great as the anti-sleep consultant proponents on the internet would lead you to believe it is. Sleep really is that important!
ANY TIME IS A GREAT TIME TO WORK ON SLEEP
Now don’t get me wrong, any time is a great time to work on sleep. You can neither be too young or too old to establish healthy sleep habits. But the learning can be easier when baby is young. There’s no need to retrain or re-learn at younger ages, it’s pure first learning.
I also realise there are legitimate reasons for not working on sleep early. Especially if your baby has had a rough start or there is illness in the picture. One thing at a time if your child is sick. When they are out the other end and better is when I can help bring sleep back on track if it’s wandered off.
So no, you can’t be too young or too old, but the expectations (and techniques) do change for each developmental age. Did I mentioned I’ve trained in developmental psychology prior to certification in sleep? It comes in handy!
You don’t need to go through sleep deprivation once you’re past the newborn stage, just because you’re a parent. Your baby is primed for sleep at a very early age, and you can help them sleep well by setting them up at the very start of life.
But it’s important that you do what is right for you.
If sleep is an issue, tackle it as when you’re ready. At any age. When the time is right for your family, book a free initial call with me HERE. I can help set you on the path to healthy sleep habits. Because great sleep shouldn’t be a mystery!
And if you’re not ready yet, but would like to know more, follow along on Facebook and Instagram.
Kim x